Sometimes, my sadness and I become companions. It stays with me for days and days, refusing to let me go. I talk to it, I even play with it. We have lengthy debates, on why life is so good and why life hurts so much.
My sadness has many different shapes: sometimes it's the anxious one, the numb one, or the angry one; other times it's the "I don't think I can take this pain" type.
I look at myself in the mirror and see the tears rolling down my eyes, while I stay motionless, just staring. And I feel it... and I see it... the pain... in my swollen eyes, in face, in my chest... all over me, rendering me immobile. I scream. I cry and I scream loud, bending forward, imagining the pain goes out with each breath. Can anyone out there hear me? Can someone come and rescue me please? I imagine my mom, holding me, stroking my hear and just telling me that everything will be fine. And me, resting in her arms, feeling safe and loved. God willing my companion will leave. I just need to wait patiently for the sun to come out again.
Have We not expanded for you your breast;
And taken off from you your burden,
And exalted for you your esteem?
Surely with difficulty is ease.
Surely with difficulty is ease.
So when thou art relieved, still toil
And strive to please thy Lord.(Quran, Chapter 94)
